Equality?????

The online dating experience - quite the conundrum. Last night was one of the shortest meetings I've had yet - not even the length of a drink - and over - just not my type. Fair enough,. It happens. Except that it shouldn't have. I'm now finding this social experiment is getting to be hard work - I need a record-keeping system (oh the irony from a information management professional!!!) You see, last night's stunted conversation, awkward moments and poor social interaction was all my fault! I thought I was meeting someone else. I'm getting them confused! Between nick-names, real names, email addresses, phone numbers and interaction all over the place, the lines are blurring - and sometimes I'm not sure who I've arranged to meet. Oooops. I know that's bad.

After the end of a very quick drink, and a hurried text (I realised I'd done it again - I met the Gardner two weeks ago, knew it wasn't going to work and gone home after a polite chat and a drink - nothing wrong, he was lovely, just not for me) After mixing up The Supplier and the Gardner via text, I had to hurriedly text the Gardner back saying I was sorry, couldn't make it this weekend, as I'd forgotten I was going away for the weekend - only a sin of omission, not an outright lie, I had arranged to go away for the weekend  months ago, it's just that I no longer am, So I need a spreadsheet. Or a database. With an app for my iPad.

The thing I did learn last night - which I managed to draw out of the painfully near silent man - was that all things are not equal in on-line dating land.Of course I knew this. The lovely Ms K related to me an anecdote that several years ago a male friend of hers had been recruited by a dating agency at an enormously discounted rate because they could not find enough men. Some of us in the dating game can relate to that . He had stories of numerous dates and women he met - a surfeit of them. The on-line world is completely reversed. Apparently the numbers average around 25 to 1 (men to women). And the men have to pay. Frequently the women don't. It's not cheap - and it explains why on one site I have received over 900 winks in a week and only 70 emails. Winks are free - emails are not. Replies are free - sometimes.

I've also had free trial memberships for 3 months and then constant free renewals of Premium membership,all because I'm a woman. It also explains the amount of accusatory messages inquiring whether I am real, or if I work for the site if I do respond to an initial contact. Oh yes, internet porn is big business. For some of the dodgier sites, it's pretty much a front to get guys to pay for cam and web sex. Solutions? Why not try talking to someone - in the supermarket? Yes - that's happened to me! I dated a personal trainer I met in a supermarket, and an artist - all rather random and charming. In the first instance the PT asked me to help him find something, then waited outside the shop for me to emerge20 mins later and offered to buy me a coffee. With the artist we chatted in line on a Saturday night, then he cruised past the restaurant I was sitting at later and invited me for a drink, all the while pretending he'd known me forever! It worked. Then again - I'll talk to anyone. I was once chastised by The Liar for talking to the elderly and local patrons of a well known bar and restaurant in Lygon St. What harm does it do to be nice to someone, and smile and say hello back? It's not like I'm making a commitment to them - it doesn't cost anything to be nice.And just because they talk to you doesn't mean a thing. Or it just might.