Clearly a huge amount of men I make contact with are so
laid back they can’t even be bothered to turn up to an arranged date –
it’s become the de facto assurance once
one has called a woman assure her, don’t
worry, I won’t stand you up!!!!
So obviously this is an accepted part of the on-line dating
dance. The cancellation, or indeed the abandonment of foresworn plans. I’m rather circumspect about this
phenomenon. Laid back even “Lol” (which I’m beginning to suspect stands not for Laughs out Loud, but for
lamenting our lipservice.
The profile issue is
a conundrum – are Australian men that lazy that they cannot create something
brief, amusing and to the point? This is why we are reduced to shopping on line
for a man by just looking at the pretty
pictures – I’m actually all for a proforma, a couple of pics and away one goes!
The worst are those that seek to identify all
of the traits he is NOT seeking – one such profile caused me a mild
wrist cramp as I scrolled, and scrolled
and scrolled the list of things this man
did want – if it had been on paper it
would have gone on for pages… and the kicker being the concluding sentence. “Anyway
I don’t believe this site is real, as no one has ever contacted me.” Well
hellllooooo. What woman would – the litany of faults and imperfections was so vast and voluminous I
for one didn’t believe that there is any woman alive who could gather up the temerity to contact this person
– and after reading it, the “no thanks” button is little more than an automatic twitch.
And what’s with the appalling profile pictures??? Blurry, indistinguishable,
shot in bad light, with flashes reflecting off mirrors, taken from baaaaad
angles, in dim light and uploaded
side-ways. If you’re lucky. My personal favourites are on one particular
site where there is a drop down menu to
describe one’s looks, the photo is generally non-existant, or only contains body parts, and the gentlemen
in question have selected “See my photo” as their option!!!! Argj. And what’s
with the body parts? Why does every second guy I chat to want to text me
pictures of their junk? And have me
return the favour? Darling men, if you’ve seen one penis, you;ve seen them all –
more or less, ifyou know what I mean. If I want to look at penises I’ll go
online and download some free porn – god knows there’s a surfeit of it – and don’t be thinking it will
entice me to date you just because I’ve
seen it – seeing is not believing, and it’s incredible how much a crappy mobile
phone photograph can distort dimension
and perspective. Enough said.
What I also don’t understand is the man who takes the time
to write a reasonably intelligent profile piece, and talks about having fun but
not being averse to a relationship with the right woman, who then goes against
this be insistently demanding sex and only sex before even getting to the “My
name is…” part of the introduction. I get a lot of this – my housemate doesn’t.
Go figure. I had one guy tell me as his opening line that I looked like a sex
maniac! Where did that come from?
There’s an interesting thing about demographic too. I can
categorise the age and type of men who attempt to contact me – the majority are
between 26 and 34. Well below my seeking
criteria, as they say. There’s also an occupational thing – I receive messages
and requests from an awfully high number of truck drivers, and personal
trainers. WHY????? The truck drivers I
kind of get – in an obsure way – maybe they can’t read that I’m looking for
educated, articulate intelligent men. But the personal trainers and former
athletes? Am I to be a project? A rescue mission?
I remember a former footballer I had a bit of a fling with – met him not
on-line, but in the David Jones Food Hall on a weekday when I’d taken the day
off for a doctor’s appointment and then gone browsing because I was
extraordinarily early. What does a former athlete see in an incredibly unfit
woman my age? Unfathomable… Anyway, the fling ended when he told me it was time
for him to behave as his girlfriend was pregnant – might I add he’d not
mentioned the girlfriend until that particular moment, and at that moment in
time I hadn’t thought to ask – just assumed he was single.I must have been
delusional, A former footballer in his early 30s with a penchant for encounters
in shopping mall disabled toilets, what was I thinking??? Well I wasn’t… but now I do.
And I’m very very sceptical – but that said, for every guy
who doesn’t turn up, or cancels at short
notice, there’s one who will honour the commitment. Not all I have to do is
find one who doesn’t drive me nuts, or go nuts himself.
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